Gretchen Bleiler Is Kinda Hot, Really Disappointing

I’m not even really sure who Gretchen Bleiler is or what she does, but I do know this, she’s got the wrong idea of how to get me interested in her. In the most recent ESPN The Magazine, Ms. Bleiler graces the cover in anticipation of the Winter X Games. In the past I’ve seen her on the cover of a few magazines and I know she’s a snowboarder but that’s about it. The only reason her name means anything to me is that she’s had a penchant for showing some skin in the past. And that makes her cool in my book.

So, in hopes of getting a look at the goods, I flipped through her article and was sorely disappointed. Then I read the following little bit under a sub-section entitled “Naked Truth”:

After being fooled once (ESPN The MAG, Jan. 19, 2004), it was shame on them (ahem, us). Fooled twice (FHM, February 2004)? Shame on Bleiler. But after being fooled a third time (Jane, August 2006), it’s time to fire agents and rethink images. “It never felt right to take my clothes off,” Bleiler says. “It never felt like me. It sucks. When you’re a woman in sports, people want you to show some skin.” So get a good look, fellas. Bleiler’s done with peep shows.

Lame. Now look, I totally respect her choice not to go nude, or close to it, anymore, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. It’s not like I’ve ever paid attention to the X Games anyway. In my opinion if you can do something intoxicated as well as you can sober, it’s not a sport. Therefore I have no interest in watching guys and girls attempt to injure themselves in incredibly uninteresting ways. If I want to see that I’ll just click on The Postmen’s YouTube section and have hours of fun.

But having a girl who’s pretty attractive (Bleiler reminds me of Ashlee Simpson pre-nose job) and willing to take it off to get publicity for her event, is actually pretty cool. I might have paid some level of attention if she came off as someone I might want to check out in person. But now, she’s going to be wearing a parka and goggles and spinning on a half-pipe. Uhhh, Woohooo?

I also have to make one more point. I think it’s hilarious that she sort of shifts blame on to other people for taking her clothes off in the past. Come on Gretchen, we all know you knew exactly what you were doing. It’s not like someone forced you at gunpoint to toss off your clothes and lounge in a hot tub, or get naked except for some carefully placed paint. But nice try babe. Here’s hoping you change your mind someday and follow the example of Amanda Beard.