Start The Kelli Croyle Watch

November 12, 2007 – 11:50 pm by Ryan Phillips

In a move we and all fans of HBO’s “Hard Knocks” have anticipated for weeks, Brodie Croyle has been named the starting quarterback for the Kansas City Chiefs game against the Indianapolis Colts this Sunday. For anyone not aware, Croyle really sucks but for some reason the Chiefs see him as the QB of the future. We frankly couldn’t care less about how Croyle and his “Bama bangs” do this weekend. But we’ll be tuning in to watch, mainly to catch a glimpse of Croyle’s wife, Kelli. If whatever station airing the game has any brains at all, they’ll be showing Kelli in the crowd early and often.

Other than Boomer Grigsby, Mrs. Croyle and her ample sweater-meat were the star of “Hard Knocks” this summer. Formerly Kelli Schutz, the young lady met her husband in Mobile in 2006 while Croyle was preparing for the Senior Bowl. The kid acted fast and using his charm, southern drawl and after obviously convincing her he had a future in the NFL, he roped her in. The couple got married on July 14 of this year. No word on whether Kelli’s implants were installed pre or post meeting Brodie.

She was the winner of the 2005 America’s Junior Miss competition, whatever the hell that means. We’re assuming it means she’s hot. She also briefly attended SMU before transferring to a nursing school in Kansas to be close to Brodie. Lame.

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  1. 19 Responses to “Start The Kelli Croyle Watch”

  2. She was America’s Junior Miss – not Miss America. AJM doesn’t have a thing to do with being hot, but rather it means that she is smart and talented. Being hot is just an added bonus!

    By Anonymous on Nov 13, 2007

  3. Real or Fake? Am I the only dude wondering that?

    By Mac G on Nov 13, 2007

  4. Mac G,

    Really, does it matter?

    By Anonymous on Nov 13, 2007

  5. someone actually knows the difference between America’s Junior Miss and Miss America? wow, that’s embarrasing.

    By Anonymous on Nov 13, 2007

  6. dude, come on. fake. Those things are freakin standing up

    By Anonymous on Nov 13, 2007

  7. Those were put in during the filming of Hard Knocks. Someone else already figured this out. Look at the first episode and they aren’t near as ample as the last one.

    By Anonymous on Nov 13, 2007

  8. If I can feel them, they are real to me.

    By Anonymous on Nov 13, 2007

  9. Anonymous and anonymous-

    The right bra can have either of the effects that you point out.

    By Anonymous on Nov 13, 2007

  10. By “Harvard premed girl” I believe you mean presumably ugly chick.

    By casualhockey on Nov 13, 2007

  11. I’d give her some “Hard Knocks”. WAR EAGLE!!!

    By Anonymous on Nov 13, 2007

  12. I’m thinking motorboat.

    By Anonymous on Nov 13, 2007

  13. I vote for comfort. They’re far too large to be built for speed.

    By MilwaukeeBooter on Nov 13, 2007

  14. oh ho, you motorboating son of a bitch you

    By Anonymous on Nov 13, 2007

  15. I love that my fake or real question sparked so much response.

    I was wondering if Brody had purchased a new pair of fun bags to play with and the mystery has been solved.

    On a side note, can Brody throw the ball to DBowe more? Huard needed a cane back there.

    By Mac G on Nov 13, 2007

  16. They’re fake. My mother sold Mrs. Croyle her wedding dress. She asked to have the cups a little bigger, as the chest on the wedding day would not be the same chest as the shopping day.

    By Anonymous on Nov 13, 2007

  17. best thing to come out of hard knocks?! 2 words: october. gonzalez.

    By Anonymous on Nov 13, 2007

  18. I guess Brodie is a Breast Man

    By Anonymous on Nov 14, 2007

  19. Just another example of a bimbo dating a douchbag because he’s popular.

    By Mike on Nov 14, 2007

  20. Kelli is the sweetest, most giving, and unbelievably intelligent young lady I have ever met. The outer beauty is just an “added bonus”. And what’s embarrassing is thst you misspelled “embarrasing”! Jealousy is one of the most evil sins….it makes you look stupid sometimes.

    By Anonymous on Dec 7, 2007

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