Kiss My Asterisk! (And Other Stories Of The Day)

November 7, 2007 – 8:30 pm by Hickey

As everyone knows by now, former Dolphins coach Don Shula is up in arms over the possibility of the Patriots matching his ’72 team’s accomplishment of finishing the season undefeated. After all, they were caught cheating in the first half of the first game of the season, therefore nullifying everything they’ve done since then. Right?

Not so much. There are a couple of things Don needs to remember before getting his knickers in a knot.

1. The Patriots actually have to finish the season unbeaten before this discussion is even relevant. And your Dolphins still get to play them again. Where’s the faith, Don? Come on, you know Cam Cam and Cleo Lemon have something special up their sleeves for that one.

2. Shouldn’t the asterisk be placed next to the ’72 Dolphins? Let’s not forget that they only had to play 14 regular season games instead of 16. With two extra games, there’s a chance Miami would have had to play someone good. Not saying they would have lost… but, let’s face it, it’s a lot harder to pull the feat off these days.

3. While I’m at it, am I the only one who is annoyed by the fact that every single NFL season someone starts off say 6-0 everyone starts wondering if they can match the ’72 Dolphins? This year I see as an exception because the Patriots actually are that good. But I think in the future, these discussions shouldn’t start happening until a team is 10-0.


The Bell Biv Devoe moment of the week comes from the sordid world of tennis. The International Tennis Federation is investigating claims that German Tommy Haas was poisoned prior to a Davis Cup semifinal match in Russia by a tainted latte macchiato. Seriously?

First off, I was unaware that anyone was that passionate about tennis — particularly the Davis Cup. Who won the last Davis Cup? And why does it seem like the Davis Cup is awarded three times a year? Also, if someone poisoned Roger Federer, would he be stopped? I kind of doubt it. (And it still wouldn’t be good enough for Sports Illustrated to decide that he’s Sportsman of the Year material.)

But in the world of tennis, I guess nothing should come as a surprise. We’ve got guys throwing matches. Former Wimbledon champs doing blow. The first dog fight can’t be too far behind.


It appears that the annual Roger Clemens whoring himself out to the highest bidder derby has come to a close. As reported by the Houston Chronicle, Clemens will now work for the Astros as a consultant, which he agreed to do once his career came to a close.

I would imagine it’s probably hard consulting and playing at the same time, so this is probably it for an ageless wonder. But then again, if the price is right, would Roger Clemen$ ever say no? I’ll believe it when I don’t see him trotting back onto the mound at $45 million per start.

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