Hey, Douchebag! Make Way For Douchebag!

November 15, 2007 – 9:54 pm by Hickey

“Instant Karma’s gonna get you. Gonna knock you right in the head.” - John Lennon

Sometimes — and believe me, those times are rare — life just happens to work out so perfectly that you can’t help but sit back and grin. Like right now.

Many baseball fans are dancing in the splendiferous joy of Barry Bonds’ indictment by a Grand Jury on Thursday afternoon. What could be better than the long-awaited proof that baseball’s home run king* was a knowing cheater? Oh yeah, said home run king* doing time behind bars.

But seeing Bonds go down in flames isn’t the best part of this day. After all, on the larger scale, it does seem kind of messed up that he could go to jail for lying about steroid use while other athletes can kill people and still beat the rap (not gonna name names, but I think OJ’s pursuit of the real killers is going to pick up some really nice leads if he ends up in the slammer for armed robbery.)

No, it’s not the wording of the indictment that makes this story so great. It’s the timing. Because it just so happens that Bonds has completely taken over the spotlight on a day that normally would have been reserved for Alex Rodriguez renegotiating a deal with the Yankees, and A-Rod has been thrust into the smaller type.

Remember, it was A-Rod and his tool of an agent, Scott Boras, that tried taking the limelight near the end of Game 4 of the World Series by announcing that he “would not return to the Yankees.” (Oh really, who else was going to pony up that cash? The Nippon Ham Fighters?) Believe me, if my team was outs away from clinching the World Series and the talk on TV revolved around A-Rod’s future, I’d be mighty pissed. (Of course, my team is the Cubs, so it’s more likely that I’ll be distracted by falling asteroids, nuclear missiles, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, an emergency broadcast from President Dennis Kucinich, the return of the dinosaurs — either the prehistoric creatures or the TV show, and my hot date at that moment).

At any rate, it’s perfectly fitting that when he actually deserves to be in the news, A-Rod is pushed aside by Bonds. Guess he’ll just have to get him back by claiming the home run record for himself. What goes around comes around.

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