But Is His Girlfriend Hotter Than Cristiano Ronaldo’s?

September 19, 2007 – 7:18 pm by McD

Meet Kerlon Moura Souza a.k.a. Kerlon Foquinha, Brazil’s next Big Futbol Star. He’s 19 and quite the up-and-coming talent. He’s already being heralded as the next Ronaldinho, which has meaning in the soccer world, we swear. Clubs such as Manchester United, AC Milan, and Middlesbrough(!) have recently shown great interest in importing Kerlon to their respective rosters.

What makes Kerlon so special, you ask? There are a ton of good young players out there, and there probably always will be. So what separates him? Well, he does this. It’s called “the seal dribble” and apparently it’s quite difficult to defend, though we haven’t seen a video of him actually scoring using the move. That’s not really the point though. The guy bounces the ball on his head as he runs past defenders on his way to the goal. He ends up being awarded a lot of free-kicks because the seal dribble causes him to get fouled by angry defenders. The kid is also pretty damn good with his free kicks.

Not surprisingly, opponents of Kerlon’s aren’t huge fans of his patented move. It even touched off what amounts to a full-on brawl in soccer (let’s just say they make baseball fights look like the UFC). They say he’s breaking an unwritten rule by showing off unnecessarily. Oh Christ, when did Bob Brenly start playing soccer? If soccer players really hate showing off, they probably shouldn’t do this every time they score (is that Peter Crouch doing the freaking robot?). Act like you’ve bounced the ball on your head before, guys. Though we do encourage Clint Dempsey to crank dat soulja boy the next time he scores.

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  1. One Response to “But Is His Girlfriend Hotter Than Cristiano Ronaldo’s?”

  2. Cristiano Ronaldo,23 is rumored to be secretly dating American model Mia Judaken, 18 who is a close friend of Cristiano’s family. Cristiano has been said to been keeping private about his relationship for her privacy and apparently paid Flash magazine to cease pictures taken of them together before Christmas threatening defamation.


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