Does Eric Wynalda Like Anything?

July 23, 2007 – 5:49 am by Ryan Phillips

Sadly, I got suckered in to the huge media hype surrounding David Beckham’s first game for the Los Angeles Galaxy on Saturday. I watched the game, and all 15 minutes that Becks played. For the most part I enjoyed the spectacle, I was shocked that the MLS and ESPN could put on a relatively entertaining program, considering the star of the show barely played. The one problem I had with the whole event, was the color man for the broadcast. Though he’s one of the best players in the history of American soccer, Eric Wynalda is the most critical, negative, pain in the ass I’ve ever heard on a national broadcast. Seriously, the guy is awful.

He spent the entire broadcast ripping the Galaxy for their level of play, how outmatched they were and how awful they were playing. Uh, Eric? They were playing Chelsea, FA Cup champions and one of the best clubs in the world. They have guys like Andriy Shevchenko, Didier Drogba, Michael Essien, Joe and Ashley Cole, Frank Lampard and Petr Cech, of course they were outmatched. But Wynalda didn’t miss a chance to blast their defense for looking disorganized or their offense for not creating other opportunities. He also took Landon Donovan to task for not having a great season so far for the Galaxy. Well Eric, maybe he’s a little tired, since he’s been busy tying your goals record for U.S. Men’s National Team. The funny part about Wynalda being so negative, was that Tommy Smyth (Mr. “Old onion bag” himself) argued with him or had a positive answer for almost everything he said. They were basically politely arguing the whole time, with Smyth looking better in every exchange.

Some people will say that Wynalda just calls people out when no one else will, but that’s not what the MLS needs. The MLS (in conjunction with ABC and ESPN) needs announcers who are positive, almost to a fault. They need to pump up the league, spin things in a good light and make it seem that the level of play in the league is getting better – as it clearly is. Sure it’s not the NFL, but the league has gotten better and with the luring of Beckham and Cuauhtemoc Blanco to the states are big moves for American soccer and should help tremendously. They need someone who will show those moves for what they are. Having Wynalda fill that chair makes as much sense as darts at a bar. We love darts love playing whenever possible, but has anyone else thought that having alcohol and sharp metal objects flying through the air in the same room, might be a bad idea?

After Wynalda’s public bout with Bruce Arena during the 2006 World Cup and his recent (possibly drunken) quotes about Jim Rome he might not be the guy to champion the virtues of the MLS. We don’t have anything against Wynalda, he just seems like a prick who has never said anything positive about anyone. I’ve literally never heard him say anything complementary. Here’s how I see him: he’s the kind of guy who would see a Jessica Alba, and while all his buddies were talking about how hot she is he’d say something like, “Man, I’d never bang her. She’s got fat knuckles.”

I guess what we’re wondering is, what does Eric Wynalda actually like?

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  1. 27 Responses to “Does Eric Wynalda Like Anything?”

  2. Hmmm…someone was listening to Howard Stern this morning. Way to rip off his Dart rant.

    By Greg on Jul 23, 2007

  3. But have you seen her knuckles?

    I think Wynalda’s ‘heel’ routine wouldn’t be as sufferable if there existed an intelligent, positive, well-spoken voice who actually knew the game inside and out to counter his venom.

    Plus, despite coming across as an utter cock, he’s right in his criticism. It’s not all puppies dogs and ice cream.

    By sven on Jul 23, 2007

  4. One problem with your analogy. The Galaxy’s play wasn’t anywhere near Jessica Alba level. It was much closer to… Courtney Love. And hey, when a guy calls Courtney Love a coked-out street-walker. He’s not being overly negative, he’s being honest.

    By moin on Jul 23, 2007

  5. Great line about the knuckles. I too agree that Wynalda is pretty brutal. But I think this brutality stems from a desire for American soccer to be taken more seriously. I bet he thinks that if he’s harsh on the league, outsiders will believe that Americans are not content with the state of soccer in our country.

    That, or he’s a douchebag.

    By GAdrouny on Jul 23, 2007

  6. I bet he thinks that if he’s harsh on the league, outsiders will believe that Americans are not content with the state of soccer in our country.

    That, or he’s a douchebag.

    I go with B.

    And he seems to like Alexi Lalas. Which makes one person out there who does.

    By Amanda on Jul 23, 2007

  7. i know you stole that darts comment from the howard stern show, a conversation between artie and howard?

    you cant deny it too coincidental

    people notice these things chap

    give credit

    By Anonymous on Jul 23, 2007

  8. Love Wynalda, because he knows what the hell he’s talking about so he has the right to be a jerk.

    He’s soccer’s answer to Cris Collinsworth. Everyone likes Troy Aikman’s lightweight “boy howdy” analysis for first graders, but Wynalda is a guy who’s going to get on people for dogging it.

    By Jeff Hawkins on Jul 23, 2007

  9. Would you rather have Balboa or Bruce Arena calling the game? Wynalda is by far the best color analyst we have. I wish more announcer’s took his honest approach. I find it refreshing that a commentator actually comments honestly.

    By AE on Jul 23, 2007

  10. will people STFU about the darts comment being “ripped off” from Howard Stern. I’ve been making that joke for years and I’ve never listened to a minute of that unfunny assbag.

    as for the actual post, tell me about it. The few times I’ve tried to watch an MLS game Wynalda makes me feel like I should be doing something better with my life than watching that shit. And I usually end up agreeing and turning the channel.

    By Anonymous on Jul 23, 2007

  11. There is a reson why soccer wont succeed in this country and its idiots like you who try to talk about it. Wynalda is awesome and tells it like it is. Are we supposed to give guys a pass who play because they are just playing soccer? We need to hold them to a higher standard. We need guys like Wynalda and Giorgio Chinaglia to comment on soccer.

    Who do you like? Rob Stone? That moron couldnt even get the year right the USA hosted the World Cup when announcing a nationally televised game.

    By Anonymous on Jul 23, 2007

  12. The MLS (in conjunction with ABC and ESPN) needs announcers who are positive, almost to a fault.
    That’s absurd. The MLS needs commentary that is knowledgeable, competent, and HONEST. Puffery will only turn off football fans. The Galaxy have been garbage this year, and Donovan did play poorly. To say otherwise would not only be silly, it would be insulting to the viewer. Really worthless post.

    By Anonymous on Jul 23, 2007

  13. Wynalda calls it like he see’s it. Sometimes he ends up looking like a dick but most times he’s on point. Your point about having announcers be overly positive is ridiculous. Why don’t they just broadcast the games on fox news.

    By BIRD33 on Jul 23, 2007

  14. i have a much bigger problem with the fact that ESPN continues to let Dave O’Brien as the play-by-play man even though he has less sawker knowledge than the coach of your neighborhood U-12 schoolgirls team.

    I actually don’t mind Dellacamara or Wynalda nearly as much as Balboa, Chinaglia, Lalas and some others.

    By Joel on Jul 23, 2007

  15. Word on the street (and the street is often full of shit) is that Wynalda nailed John Harkes’ wife at some point. (sometime leading up to the ’98 WC. People have theorized that this lead to Harkes being cut from the final roster. Sampson was closer to Eric)So, if this is true, he is clearly more than just a negative thinking announcer- but a wife stealin’ douche…

    By Michael on Jul 23, 2007

  16. It’s one thing to be honest, but it’s also honestly true that every single player on the Chelsea team is better than almost any player on the Galaxy, save Beckham.

    If they look disorganized, it’s possibly b/c they’re playing one of the very best club teams in the world. Focusing on all the things that Chelsea were doing well is putting a positive spin on things w/o puppy dogs. Maybe even saying something like “Hopefully one day MLS teams will play at this level” or “This is why you bring in great teams to compete against”….blah, blah. Cliches, but true.

    All that being said – terrible header by Landon, should have at least put it on net.

    By Anonymous on Jul 23, 2007

  17. Nice job in making a logical argument in a way that allows for a gratuitous picture of Jessica Alba. Well played, sir.

    And +1 to Joel. O’Brien is a baseball broadcaster (and he’s not even good at that) who somehow stumbled into the World Cup job and now gets trotted out every time soccer makes a little news. He couldn’t pick Owen Hargreaves out of a lineup.

    By Hawkeye State on Jul 23, 2007

  18. To be fair, I love Stern, listen every day and did hear the comment this morning, but people have been having that discussion for years. It did put the thought back in my head though I have to admit.

    By Phillips on Jul 23, 2007

  19. The article is dead wrong. Wynalda is exactly what MLS needs. If Wynalda was super-hippy-happy during the game, and the Galaxy loses 1-0 after getting DOMINATED in possession, it would be painfully obvious that we are trying to ram soccer down the throats of Americans. Americans don’t liek that.

    By Spencer on Jul 23, 2007

  20. The dart joke is an old one but the liklyhood of it showing up in a blog a couple of hours after it being on the stern show are extremely remote.

    Not to mention if you read the section it kind of comes out of nowhere. Not only does he make the initial analogy but then goes on to spell out the entire analogy in the next sentence. The dude heard it on the Stern show, thought it was funny, and figured he would put it in his otherwise interesting post. The least he could do now is fess up.

    By Greg on Jul 23, 2007

  21. Wynalda hates Howard Stern.

    By Anonymous on Jul 23, 2007

  22. He ripped it off from Stern this morning? You sure? I am a huge Stern fan, but some of his fans feel like Howard created everything before everyone else.

    Or maybe he got it from that Matt Damon movie about the twins (Stuck Together?), which came out a few years ago and has a scene of a guy drinking at a bar, getting a dart in the back of his head by Matt Damon.

    By Anonymous on Jul 23, 2007

  23. watching a game announced by eric wynalda is like listening to a dentis telling you about his day over the drill. come on, the guy is a useless hack in the doldrums of US soccer he was not even a decent player. today he would be lucky to make a varsity college div II college squad never mind the national team. he is so concerned about his own ideas and judgments about soccer that he forgets he is on tv. the way he announces is always slanted on the attempt to tell everyone that he too played the game. who even cares if he ever played, i would just as well listen to someone that never even stepped on a field but had the good judgment to understand the game. his ignorance shows every time he is on the air and he is a complete disgrace to US soccer and world soccer for that matter. Please, please get him off the air!

    By Anonymous on Aug 6, 2007

  24. I think Eric Wynalda is the shit. You need an American whos played the game to annouce, who has some kinda of personality. Wynalda i believe does a great job i like how he says negative things sometimes about the playing he knows whats hes talking about. Hes like the buddy at the bar ur watchin the game with.Thats what american sports annoucing needs. Give this guy hes own MLS rant show id watch it. Thats what MLS needs a kick in the ass to say stop suckin ur makin US Soccer look bad. Every hear of one touch?

    By Rob on Aug 15, 2007

  25. Eric Wynalda needs to resign from doing the color commentary. He basically says negative things the whole time. He ripped on LA tonight saying the fans should boo them off the field. Give me a break Eric.
    How many times did you have a bad game?!
    We should have booed you off quite a bit!
    Listen to your words dude, you’re not helping yourself and you aren’t helping the game of American soccer with negative comments!!!
    And no to whoever reads this, I haven’t finished. When I see him I’ll give him the same respect he gives everyone else.
    You’re crap Wynalda!!!

    By Anonymous on Aug 24, 2007

  26. ESPN Please get rid of Wynalda! He is so negative toward the sport.

    By Anonymous on Aug 24, 2007

  27. I think he suffers “Soccer Envy”

    By Anonymous on Sep 9, 2007

  28. Dear Eric Wyanlda,
    Please be more inconsistent. I love listening to you. Specially when I hear you say the other team is playing great!
    Should the US National Team(US) clear the ball in the last ten minutes against Spain or should we keep possession? You said, …”clear the ball to relieve the pressure.” The pressure of what? Being down a goal or the retreating forwards. Take some notes, write down the what you want to say before you say it, and please don’t suck the other team’s asscrack.
    Sincerely yours,
    US Fan

    By Anonymous on Jun 4, 2008

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