That Will Be One Comically Large Cake
June 25, 2007 – 5:17 am by Ryan Phillips
Yao Ming – who I’ve always thought of more as an entity than an actual person – will marry his teenage sweetheart in August after dating for eight years. China’s “state press” reported the planned nuptuals Monday morning. Thanks comrades, down with capitalism!
Yao will marry Ye Li (really resisting the urge to make jokes) in a private ceremony, possibly in Shanghai, the city where they were born, met and started dating. They met when Yao played for the Shanghai Sharks in 1999. Ye was on the club’s women’s team at the time. She has gone on to play for the Chinese national team and the two were first seen publicly together at the 2004 Olympics in Athens. She stands at 6’2, while Yao is 7’6. Can you imagine the logistics of designing their house?
Titan Sports Weekly (the paper reporting the marriage) had this to say: “This is a match based on pure love.”
Well that’s good to know. I’d hate for it to be a match formulated by the Chinese government, so they could create a super-race of horrifically tall basketball players. Wait, someone has investigated this right? Are there any East German geneticists at work here or anything? We should probably look into that.
The paper also downplayed reports that the wedding would be broadcast on television and that China’s Olympic gold medal-winning hurdler Liu Xiang would be the master-of-ceremonies, “On that day there will be no media, basically it will only be relatives from both sides attending.”
So it will be a very traditional ceremony. Actually, it will be a lot like a wedding you’d see in America … only smaller and more efficient. DAMN. Thought I could get through the whole post without doing that. Sorry.
2 Responses to “That Will Be One Comically Large Cake”
Maybe you’re kidding and maybe you ain’t…but the Chinese government *did* “help” Yao’s parents get together. And just like Yao and his sweetie, Yao’s ma and pa were the starting centers on the Chinese team. A little (or big) eugenics worked out pretty well for the country, wouldn’t you say?
You can read about it in a great book, Operation: Yao Ming. And no, I am not Brook Larmer.
By Doctor Dribbles on Jun 25, 2007
Smaller and more efficient? This is China we’re talking about. Not Japan or Korea or Singapore. Small and efficient is definitely not how I would describe China.
By Anonymous on Jun 26, 2007