Zach Johnson Stayed At A Holiday Inn Express Last Night

April 9, 2007 – 12:00 am by McD

You have to feel good for Zach Johnson. He won his first major at The Masters, in a field that included all the big names in golf. He overcame ridiculous conditions and managed a two shot victory. He even dropped a Jesus-bomb after his round and teared up, then teared up again while kissing his newborn son. Then he dropped another Jesus-bomb in the Butler cabin whilst talking with Jim Nantz. Then he referred to himself in the third person during the interview before staring awkwardly into the camera. So yeah, BIG day for him, lots of unintentional comedy for us.

But let’s be honest, he didn’t win so much as he was the least bad. His final score of +1 is the highest winning score in over 50 years at The Masters and is tied for the highest ever. Until Sunday, he’d never finished higher than 15th in a major. He also missed the cut in the final three majors of 2006. The guy won The Masters and I don’t remember a single defining shot from his final round. Everyone else just played like crap.

Tiger Woods and Justin Rose made the end interesting (sort of), by coming within two shots of Johnson before both melted down on 17. Rose doubled the 17th, a disaster that included him hitting his second shot from the 15th fairway. Tiger hit a good tee shot on 17, but hit his second into the sand in front of the green. That all but ended his chances of bridging the two-shot gap between he and the Jesus-loving champ. He was still pissed as he walked off the 18th green, as he finished two shots behind Johnson.

So, the last four Masters champions are Phil Mickelson, Tiger Woods, Phil Mickelson, and…Zach Johnson? We’re going to go out on a limb here (and totally jinx the rest of the PGA Tour) and say that Johnson isn’t a threat to win the Grand Slam this year.

Sure, part of what makes golf great is that anyone can win on a given weekend, but this year’s Masters reminded us all of how good we had it when Phil and Tiger were dominating and weren’t getting the “deer in headlights” look during the jacket/trophy ceremonies. Did either of them thank Jesus multiple times or tear up? Of course not. It’s nice to see a guy like Johnson do all of that once in a while. But here’s hoping that we go back to the big guys winning the majors in 2007. It’s almost comforting when they wrap up a solid win, hug their kids (Mickelson) or hot wife (Tiger) and hot mom (kidding), give a cliche-soiled, boring interview, and move on. It’s nice that Zach Johnson won, but let’s not make crying over golf a habit.

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  1. 10 Responses to “Zach Johnson Stayed At A Holiday Inn Express Last Night”

  2. WOW!! There’s very little wholesome, uplifting things to watch on tv anymore. The masters victory was a pleasure to witness. Zach was full of humility and class. How disheartening to hear you tear someone down like that.

    By Anonymous on Apr 8, 2007

  3. I agree, it’s about time someone stood up for Jesus, it appears whoever wrote this needs Jesus in their life. Great job Zach Johnson, I hope you mention Jesus everytime you win. Maybe you can have a talk with Tiger Woods!

    By Anonymous on Apr 8, 2007

  4. Dude, what’s the big deal? The guy just won the Masters! He should be able to thank whoever he wants to. We’ve all spent plenty of time hearing how great Tiger’s dad is and watching Phil hug his kids on the 18th green.
    Maybe Zach gives Jesus as much credit as Tiger gives his dad or Phil gives his family. Maybe he’s smoking what he’s selling. If the guy is a follower of Jesus and he wins the Masters on Easter – what do you expect him to do, thank Tiger’s dad? I don’t think those two wicked Jesus bombs hurt anybody too bad. And by the way – if Phil shoots +11 and Tige shoots +3 and I shoot +1, you bet I won the Masters.

    By rick on Apr 8, 2007

  5. I’m sorry you are disturbed with Zach Johnson professing his faith in Jesus on Easter or shedding a tear. Personally, I thought he showed great class in loving his family and showing his faith. Did you complain when Justin Leonard got all choked up and could hardly speak when he won the British Open?

    By Merrillee on Apr 8, 2007

  6. Whoa, whoa guys, ease up. We don’t hate Jesus. We just hate when people give him credit when they win sporting events. Something tells me Jesus has more important things to worry about. I could be wrong.

    The guy won because he’s a talented golfer, not because Jesus thought it was his time. Tiger gives credit to his dad because without Earl, he would never have been as good as he is at golf. I know for a fact that Mr. Johnson has never taken a golf lesson from Jesus.

    -I’d like to thank Jesus for giving me the strength to write this comment.

    By Phillips on Apr 8, 2007

  7. Phillips,
    That’s my point. All the comentators could talk about was the difficult conditions, the mental strain, the need for precision. Now if Tiger had won, I would have expected the announcers and probably Tiger himself to credit Earl for the champ’s mental toughness and concentration – it happens all the time. Earl Woods taught Tiger lots of things besides golf lessons.
    The fact is, people like Zach Johnson pretty much give Jesus credit for everything in their lives, so it shouldn’t surprise us when that includes success in his work (which, for this poor guy, happens to be golf).
    I don’t think Jesus made Zach Johnson win the masters. I agree with you that he has more important things to worry about than golf. One of those important things is Zach himself. I don’t believe Jesus is interested in making people “successful”, but he is interested in making them complete. Maybe that’s what allowed Johnson to handle the pressure and why Johnson thanked him. If talent was all there is to it, Tiger would win every week.
    On the other hand, I don’t know Zach, so he may be one of those guys looking to drop a Jesus bomb so his grandma won’t get mad at him. Who knows?
    One more thing – there is NOTHING in sports that offers more unintentional comedy than Phil or Tiger putting a green jacket on the other and trying to smile through clenched teeth while offering the worlds all-time most insincere congratulations. These guys are good.

    By rick on Apr 9, 2007

  8. I wish you God-bothering murdering Yanks would get over yourselves.

    God is a myth you idiots!

    By Anonymous on Apr 10, 2007

  9. I agree with the writer as well. I am so sick and tired of all these folks taking their five minutes of fame and talking about Jesus. When he said that after and in the Butler Cabin I completely changed my view of him as a man and could no longer listen to him. I want to know who he has in his life (living and breathing) and the people that deal with him day on and day out, not Jesus. Anyway, I doubt he will have another chance until next year when he gets to hand the green jacket over the a better golfer.

    By Anonymous on Apr 10, 2007

  10. Dudes, dudettes—two things to say about this: Imagine somebody winning a big golf event or contest and saying, “I’d like to thank Thomas Jefferson, who’s ideas and morals inspired me. . . ” or, “I’d like to thank Ghandi and his stance on non-violent protest, because this golf match was a patience-tester. . .” What on earth does that have to do with golf? And why would you either elevate golf or lower great people and ideals in this way?

    And to all you people who cry foul when Jesus’ name is besmirched– you would be complaining just as much if someone praised Allah after winning. And that is because they would be wrong too. This is PERSONAL INFORMATION and WE PEOPLE WITH GOOD BOUNDARIES DON’T WANT TO KNOW ABOUT YOUR INVISIBLE FRIENDS!

    By garrett on Apr 11, 2007

  11. There is a word for people that judge another based on their skin color, religion, or sexual preference. Faith is what grounds us and gives us focus. It is based in what we experience, whether that experience is physical or spiritual. Some of us have a spiritual awareness and others do not.
    Zach’s faith allowed him to do his best by calming him and allowing him concentrate on what needed to be done. Just what any good coach would tell his player to do.
    Jesus doesn’t care who wins the Masters or the Superbowl, but He does care about character.

    By wjrjde on Apr 11, 2007

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