The Arena Football League, As Exciting As You Thought

March 26, 2007 – 10:48 pm by Ryan Phillips

Sorry for the lack of posting yesterday, I spent most of the day sifting through emails for a post we have planned for next Monday. I can’t tell you how excited we are about it. More on that to come later in the week.

While vainly attempting to find something to watch last night I stumbled upon an ESPN 2 broadcast of the Arena Football League. Due to the “train wreck principle of viewing” I was forced to watch. After wasting two hours of my life, I’d just like to say that I wish that rule would just go away. It’s the same principle that’s forced me to watch three seasons of “Laguna Beach” and an entire season of Indiana University football.

First of all, the whole ESPN publicizing the Arena League is a huge joke. The sad part now is the ESPN personalities who have to shill for a below mediocre product. In the case of the Orlando-Dallas game I forced myself to watch, it was Mike and Mike who had to pretend like they enjoyed the game they were watching.

The always brilliant minds over at ESPN had Mike and Mike calling the game. I’m a fan of Mike and Mike, and I listen to their morning show whenever I can (that would be whenever Howard Stern is on vacation or at commercial). They have a great dynamic, good senses of humor, provide decent insight and have great guests on. The fact that ESPN has them doing AFL games and the fact that they agreed, drives me nuts. What’s next, Keith Jackson doing play-by-play for bowling, Brent Musburger doing the WNBA finals or James Earl Jones narrating a snuff film? Come to think of it, I’d actually watch that.

The problem with the AFL is that it more closely resembles the XFL than the NFL. The players celebrate after every catch, hit and first down and that gets old after like the third time. The only thing arena football is good for is checking in on how the eighth-best player on your favorite college team, from six years ago, is doing. Other than that it’s as relevant a sports as “baseketball.”

The AFL essentially combines football and hockey and expertly leaves out the quality elements of both (we’re not fans of hockey but we realize that there are some incredibly talented hockey players). During the game, there were three, count em, three instances of “fan-interference” that I saw. All three times, a fan reached out into the field of play and attempted to catch a pass thrown in their general direction, before (we’re assuming) retreating to the trailer park that spawned them. “Look ma, I dun become a football play-yer.” This Bartman-like behavior proves that even fans of the game don’t respect it.

One thing that shocked me was the fact that other than the large contingent who spend most of their lives as tornado-bait, they managed to get a decent amount of people to attend the game.

Alright, I’m done wasting my time on this sorry excuse for television entertainment. Now if you’ll excise me, I’m going to watch “The Hills,” then sit around and daydream about what the flower arrangements at Whitney and I’s wedding will look like.

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  1. 8 Responses to “The Arena Football League, As Exciting As You Thought”

  2. I agree. I saw some of that game too. It was absolute garbage. I don’t wish anything bad on the league and it would be nice for them to grow… but I won’t be watching. The game is a joke.

    By BGN on Mar 27, 2007

  3. I love Arena Football!

    By robustyoungsoul on Mar 27, 2007

  4. robust,
    I don’t know how many times I have to ask, but could you ESPN execs please stop posting comments? Thanks.

    By Phillips on Mar 27, 2007

  5. If you think that’s bad, you should see all the indoor leagues below Arena Football. Horrible.

    By Permanent4 on Mar 27, 2007

  6. The games suck, but the cheerleaders…wow! More AFL cheerleaders, please, God, please!

    By Anonymous on Mar 27, 2007

  7. Actually, Keith Jackson did call some bowling during his career. In Monday Night Mayhem, it mentions that Jackson found out he was canned from MNF after leaving a bowling tournament.

    Here’s an example of his work:
    http://www.putfile.com/media.php?n=JohnGuenther

    By Mike B. on Mar 27, 2007

  8. “The problem with the AFL is that it more closely resembles the XFL than the NFL. The players celebrate after every catch, hit and first down and that gets old after like the third time. “

    That sounds alot like the NFL too, I must say.

    By Anonymous on Mar 27, 2007

  9. Arena Footballs great man, I got no idea what your talking about. Go to a game, if you don’t have a blast, check your pulse you must be dead. This is football at its purest form, great talent and entertainment that’s affordable for the family. Our ratings compare with hockey and regular season college basketball, even though theres 10x less coverage. The problem with arena football is not so much nobody cares, it’s nobody knows. Arena Football is addicting, once you pop the fun won’t stop.

    By Anonymous on Mar 31, 2007

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