"Weekend At Bernie’s" Joke Overload

December 6, 2006 – 9:50 pm by McD

Wanted: head coach willing to ignore the following issues. 1) Miami (FL) no longer has the facilities to compete even in its own conference, let alone nationally. 2) Since they can’t compete, they have to recruit more and more questionable character guys and partial qualifiers, thus creating a team full of guys who don’t graduate and don’t play with heart. 3) There’s no point for coaches to leave their current schools this year. So many schools are ponying up the dough to compete in football because it makes so much money, that Jim Grobe can actually say the words “I’m a Wake Forest guy” and mean them.

In no other year would Greg Schiano stay at Rutgers. Usually, a major program like Miami would be ready-made for a title run. They’d be stocked with talent, boosters, and fans expecting victories. Now all they have are the last two. Guys like Schiano and West Virginia’s Rich Rodriguez have very little reason to leave their schools because they put in the time building them from the ground up. Every aspect of both school’s football programs have their respective head coaches’ fingerprints on everything. The only thing that gets a coach out of a winning program these days is NFL money or possibly an NFL job.

So where, oh where, is Miami going to get its next head football coach? Well, “this U” alum Bernie Kosar has thrown his hat in the ring. It’s not as funny when you consider that he’s actually got a shot at getting the job. Personally, we’d go with (4 time Super Bowl loser) “this U” alum Jim Kelly, but that’s just us.

We also love how Bernie says “I’m interested” in the Miami job. Ha, yeah, hey Bernie I’m interested in nailing Jessica Biel too, but that doesn’t mean it’s gonna happen any time soon. Damn you Derek Jeter, DAMN YOU!!!!

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