For weeks we’ve had to listen to Lou “Grandma” Holtz slurp and lisp his way through three topics: how great Notre Dame is, how USC is going to lose each week and how Larry Coker needs to get control of his program at Miami. Yes, you read that last one right, Lou Holtz has been chastising someone for not having control of their program.
Bear in mind that after Holtz left Notre Dame, South Carolina and Minnesota, all three schools were put on probation for violations during his stay. So Holtz (who looks decidedly like the professor from Futurama) telling anyone to “get control” of their program is like Paris Hilton calling someone else a whore. It’s been a rough couple of years at Miami and yeah some of the team’s actions have been disgraceful (to say nothing of their play), and this past weekend’s brawl is likely the last straw for Coker. But Lou Holtz is not the guy who should be criticizing the way someone handles a program. I mean Christ, ESPN is probably facing at least 2 years probation just for having him around.
While Lou attempts to get his wrinkled old ass down from that high horse and you try to sift through the irony of this situation, enjoy this video of the infamous brawl between his South Carolina squad and Clemson in 2004. So to Lou Holtz from all of us here at Rumors and Rants: Just shut up and go away, we can’t take it anymore.